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This Triggered Me

July 30, 2020

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Hi, I'm Laura — Training Neuroscientist, ICF accredited Coach and here to give you the science to help you succeed in business and life

Meet Laura

Do you know that uncomfortable feeling you get when you see somebody doing something that you want to be doing but instead of grounding yourself and realising this is the case, you make a snap nasty judgement.

Like when somebody’s wearing an outfit you secretly think they look good in and you’d love to be able to get away with wearing something like that but instead of saying this, you call them something less flattering under your breath.

Or you see somebody who has really strong boundaries and won’t agree to do things they don’t want to and deep down you really admire this and wish you could be more like it but outwardly say they’re awkward or selfish.

This is called being triggered and the real irony with this is that the word ‘triggered’ actually triggers me. Seriously!

It’s when we see something that we need to work on inside ourselves in the people around us and it causes a nasty feeling internally.

Because when something annoys us about somebody else it normally means we have work to do in that area in our own lives. 

This is a hard one to take and at first you may be thinking, nope that person just really annoys me, but dig a little deeper. Our egos (another trigger word for me!) have a hard time accepting that we could possibly be wrong and that it could actually be a reflection of something internal.

We are all mirrors so look closely if something is annoying you.

Even reading this may be causing a reaction and that’s totally fine too. I’m being triggered by the thought of how you might be reacting and when I look deeper, it’s bringing up a belief in me that who am I to talk about this. I don’t know anything about this. You’re not going to want to read this.

All these thoughts under the surface and this is what we deal with on a daily basis!

And these thoughts can derail us from our true desires and wants.

Because instead of looking inwards and becoming aware of what’s there, we attack outwards. And this can lead to a really unhappy place.

I had this recently when somebody who I follow on facebook spent the whole time posting about how their business had exploded and how many hundreds of thousands of pounds they were making and how much their clients loved them, etc.

The truth is, they were making me jealous. 

And they were bringing up more money blocks in me that I needed to work through so I could keep moving forward with my business. It’s actually been a really helpful lesson.

But at the time I had a knee jerk reaction that they were showing off and annoying and I should block them.

All this because they were telling their truth and it was hurting my reality. 

Once I’d got over the initial feelings, I sat with the thought for a while. And then I went to my journal to see what came up.

By just giving myself the space to be, I came across a load of beliefs I had about talking publicly about money and how I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to make that kind of money as a coach.

This is powerful stuff. And I have done a ton of work on myself around internal blocks.

But it’s all a lesson and we are never done learning. 

If we want to move forwards and create a business and life that we love, we have to keep doing the inner work so the outer us can show up authentically and truly serve our customers.

So next time somebody says or does something that makes you react, take a second just to acknowledge that this is happening. Note where you feel it, I normally get an uncomfortable squirm in my shoulders and almost a recoil action.

Catching this thought is so powerful as the awareness means you are not being controlled by your thoughts.

Allow the initial feelings to settle by taking yourself away from the situation if you can and just being with the thought for 90 seconds until your body has time to stabilise.

Then gently ask yourself what it is about this situation that has angered you/ upset you/ caused you to react. What was the real thing in that moment that got you going. Just see what comes up. How might this reflect something within you that you may need to look a little closer at.

Is it a belief you carry, a memory or an old wound that’s not been healed.

Now you’re in a much more empowered place because you can take steps to deal with what you have found so you don’t have to find yourself reacting to this again.

So try it and see what comes up. When we start viewing these situations differently, it can make a massive impact on how we view the world.

Before you go, I’ve extended the 50% offer for 1-on-1 coaching with me from last weeks email to 5 spaces now so there’s still room if you want to take me up on this but this offer is only until midnight tomorrow (31st July) so if you were sitting on the fence, now’s the time to act. Here’s the link to my calendar if you want to book in the initial call to see if we’re a match.

I hope you have a lovely rest of week

With love ???? and gratitude ????