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This makes my head hurt…

May 14, 2020

POST: 7 books that changed my life

QUIZ: Is your brain optimised for success?

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Hi, I'm Laura — Training Neuroscientist, ICF accredited Coach and here to give you the science to help you succeed in business and life

Meet Laura

How are you getting on? It feels like we’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with things slowly reopening.  I’m quite looking forwards to nursery opening again. This has taught me that although I love my children with every cell, I also love having a little free time too!

Trying to work with them here has required being very flexible which I’m guessing you’re having to work through too, right?

Switching from creative work mode to diplomatic mum role hasn’t come easy.

And trying to do anything creative at the best of times can feel a bit like this >>>



One minute you’re absolutely nailing the hell out of it and the next minute it’s like somebody turned off the hose and the creativity juices have completely dried up.

It really is like banging your head against a brick wall.

Why does it sometimes flow so effortlessly and sometimes feel like pulling out teeth?

Could it be that we’re stopping ourselves subconsciously? That when something seems too easy we put the internal brakes on because it’s not meant to be this easy. We’re not meant to have it this good?

Are we subconsciously sabotaging ourselves?

This is what’s known as our upper limit problem. When we’re doing something we love and it gets too easy or we get too good at it or we succeed to much, it trips the upper limit alarm and we do something to squander it.

It’s like putting a ceiling on our abundance. Our abundance of love, money, creativity.

We cause an argument, lose money, stop the creativity flowing.

It can show up in all aspects of our lives and is a limit we set on ourselves based on our beliefs of who we are and what we do or don’t deserve.

Of course this isn’t intentional. We don’t sit down to do something and think, ‘I’ll do it for an hour but then when it gets too easy, I’m going to stop myself and make it hard’.

It’s completely under the surface and most don’t even realise it’s a thing. 

They just believe it to be the way things are.

But the great news is that we absolutely can do something about it. As soon as we’re aware of it, we can prevent ourselves from stepping in our own way.

As soon as we pay attention to it and understand what the underlying reason is, it ceases to be a problem.

So, maybe you don’t believe you’re worthy of love so every time you get close to somebody, you cause an argument to ensure they stay at arms length. 

Or maybe you think you don’t deserve money because it would cause problems with your family so every time you’re close to making it, you do something to squander your chances.

And maybe when you’re trying to be creative, you trip the upper limit switch because you’re not a creative person. Maybe you were once told this or you have brought yourself to the conclusion that it’s just not what you do.

Whatever your individual one is, look out for it.

It’ll show up when you exceed a limit you are internally comfortable with. 

And realise that it’s not a character trait. It’s not you. It’s just something you’ve programmed yourself to believe and the great thing about that is that you can unprogramme it. By becoming acutely aware of when it’s happening for you.

Once you notice it happening, it pays to dig a little deeper to understand why it’s happening to you. Where does this belief come from. It’s probably played out multiple times in your life so go back to the earliest memory you have of it. 

Is this belief still valid and true? Is it still serving you? Or is it limiting you?

Are you willing to let it go?

Chances are just acknowledging it’s happening will be enough to reduce its frequency. When we shine the light of awareness on something, it tends to reduce its impact.

So have you noticed yourself limiting yourself? Almost making it, almost putting your business out there, almost creating that program, almost getting a client, almost writing the book. Whatever your almost is, what really was it that stopped you.

What could you do if you broke through that upper limit?

So I’m off to write 20 more emails whilst the creative juices are flowing freely and the kids are occupied so I’ll leave you with this thought but do let me know what you notice.

And let yourself be free of it. The only limits we have are the ones we put on ourselves.